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News You Can Use: Grounding Games for Calming Anxiety Healthy at Work: How Emotional Intelligence Fuels Employee Happiness and Productivity Spring (or at least pollen) is in the air, and if you're anything like me that means a burst of energy to do something new and different. Just as we open the windows and spruce up the landscaping, it's a perfect time of year to spring-clean our habits as well.
Habits are learned behaviors that we do almost involuntarily, without really deciding to. How we pick up our toothbrush, sort through the mail, eat our meals, and make our coffee all started out as things we had to learn how to do. But after years of daily practice, we can now practically do them in our sleep. Sometimes that's a really good thing. Having a habit of immediately putting on your seat belt when getting into the car will keep you safe. Having a habit of finishing a plate of food beyond the point of being hungry will result in sneaky weight gain over time. That's why it's important to wake ourselves up from our trance once in a while and make sure that our habits are helpful and positive, not setting us up for sabotage down the road. Here's how you can spring clean your habits. Start noticing your patterns. Sometimes we know off the bat when we have a nagging habit that needs to bite the dust. Other times we are not aware of self-sabotage until we take the time to see it. All change begins with awareness, so take some time to really notice how you go through your day and allow yourself to discover whether there's anything you would like to change. Identify these things by keeping a log of different habits such as bed times, level of hunger before a meal, level of fullness after a meal, or number of days saying, “I’ll do better tomorrow.” It's okay if you don't like what you notice. You're going to change it soon. And if you don’t notice anything you want to change, then go on with your bad self. Everyone else, keep reading. Make the decision to change. This might seem like a no-brainer, but deciding to change is actually a pretty big deal. Change can involve leaving behind patterns that are comfortable, rewarding on some level, and connected to relationships with other people. Let’s say you want to change an after-dinner ice cream habit that you share with your spouse. It might feel weird to sit on the couch and not eat ice cream the first few times. I know this from personal experience! But deciding to change means being okay with things feeling weird for a little while. Remember, it felt weird to hold a toothbrush once, too. It felt weird to drive a car. You got used to it. Committing to change a habit becomes easier with the next step. Replace or compromise with something rewarding. Expecting to simply stop doing something that has become a habit over time is not realistic. So, be prepared with something else to do that is appealing and rewarding, or take steps towards change with gradual compromises. It may not be realistic to stop an ice cream habit cold turkey. But going for a walk first and switching to yogurt may be a reasonable compromise and becomes rewarding when you have a visual reminder of your motivation for change. Keep a photograph, a key word, or a significant number within eyesight at the times you are most vulnerable to not go through with your plan. It’s amazing what can happen when you see a picture of the children you want to be able to run around with taped to your television screen! Habits are funny things. They sneak up on us when we’re not paying attention and settle in like family. And just like family, eventually they need to leave. Pay attention. Notice your habits. And if you see any that need to be spruced up for spring, pull them out like a weed and let the flowers bloom.
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A few years ago, I purchased a new car. I wasn’t very happy about it. My 2004 Subaru Forester and I had been together for thirteen years. Dented and faded, it rattled and made weird noises. My “I Love State Parks” bumper sticker was almost entirely worn off, and the car was missing nonessential parts I had ripped off on the side of the interstate so I could keep driving. But the Forester was paid for, it was cute, and it had a roof rack—which I never used but valued greatly. And I knew that car. We were a team. I could drive it with my eyes closed. (I did not do that.)
But change was inevitable. My Forester needed repairs more frequently, it was becoming inefficient, and after over a decade of use, well, let’s just say it was tired. So, I bit the bullet and bought a Prius, which I enjoy driving even though I miss my clunky old car and grow nostalgic when I think of it. Changing habits is like that sometimes, right? We’ve all accumulated certain habits over the years, and although we know they need to change and that we’ll be happy with the outcome, we’re cozy in our routine. Even if some habits are destructive, expensive, unproductive, and sometimes dangerous, we stick with them because they’re familiar. Change involves risk—even when we believe the outcome will be good, even when the only risk is the possibility of feeling weird and mildly inconvenienced. Well, guess what? No one ever said you couldn’t be wistful for the old days. Changing habits doesn’t necessarily mean closing a life door and pretending those practices never existed. You can change your health habits without saying goodbye to the way life used to be. These approaches to change may ease your transition. Press Pause. When ending one habit and beginning another feels overwhelming, don’t pressure yourself to cut ties. Just press Pause on unproductive routines—being too sedentary, eating too much, wasting time—and reserve the option to return to previous habits if the new ones don’t work out. I haven’t met anyone yet who wanted to go back to being sedentary, overeating, and wasting time. Don’t worry about ending something. Just begin something else. Let Yourself Mourn. If you’re ready to close the door on a habit and never speak of it again, allow yourself time to mourn that loss. Yes, it’s a loss! There is a win to everything we choose to do, whether or not the choice is healthy. When we choose to cook more instead of eating out, we lose the convenience of having someone else cook. Getting out of bed earlier to exercise means losing the coziness of blankets and pillows. Even our destructive habits have a beneficial element, so acknowledge what you’re giving up to gain something else. That’s fair. So be sad, then get yourself together and keep on keeping on. Connect with the Payoff. The grief won’t last long, I promise. Soon you’ll like how your new habits make you feel, and the appeal of returning to old ones will fade. Acknowledge that truth and connect with it. Write the reasons you are happier in a notebook and refer to them from time to time. Jot down a challenge you overcame when reverting to old ways would have been easier. Keep a record of the payoffs—a smaller size of clothes, walking a flight of stairs without becoming winded, getting off medication—and read them. The more you connect with the benefits of your new choices, the less you’ll feel tempted to look back. But if you do look back, that’s okay. I like heated seats, better fuel economy, an ice-cold air conditioner, and a warranty. Stylish and clean, my new Prius was the right choice. But that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes miss the Forester. I’m not going back to it, but I can remember it with fondness. Are you clinging to an old habit that’s comfortable, easy, and familiar even though you know an upgrade makes sense? Shop around this week. Take new habits on a test drive. And when you’re ready, press Pause or trade in the old ones for something new. That new life smell is pretty sweet. Other News You Can Use: Growing up in the New Orleans area, I learned early that if I wanted to eat healthy, I had to work hard. Holidays and festivals flowed from one right into the next, all of them centered on food. People travel to NOLA with the sole purpose of eating, so living there meant facing food obstacles at almost every turn and feeling doomed in the process.
As I grew serious about losing weight, I had to evaluate how my social life affected my potential for success. Every interaction with friends revolved around food; my family cooked and shared large meals. How could I plan a social event and not start with the menu? Not until I left home for college did I begin to set the boundaries I needed to manage my weight. When you feel like healthy changes mean missing out on all the fun, strike a balance by being in touch with your motivations for healthy change and keeping them at the forefront of your mind. When I go into social situations where I may be tempted to overeat, I wear a bracelet that reminds me of my goal. It helps me remember I’m there for friends and family, not food. Share your goals with friends and encourage them to join you, but be prepared to fly solo if they aren’t ready for change. If being around old habits is a slippery slope, look for new ways to socialize. For me, this meant meeting friends for walking dates during lunch instead of dining out, planning active outings, and bringing healthy foods to parties. Eventually, people expected me to cheerfully resist temptation, which is how I earned my nickname: Healthy Heather! Many times, the people we are closest to help us navigate the ups and downs of weight loss. But sometimes those same people are our biggest obstacles, and we have to consider whether old relationships are compatible with new habits. Friends who sabotage you, undermine your values, or make you feel inferior because you’re choosing a different path may feel threatened by the changes you’re making and how they’ll affect your relationship. Others may be jealous of your success or resentful that they aren’t ready to make the same changes. They have the right to feel that way, but they don’t have the right to undermine your commitment to change. When I visit my family in the Big Easy, I still watch what I eat, but I do much better when I stay focused on the real reason for being there. Living healthy when your social life revolves around food can be overwhelming. A combination of preparation, compassion, and downright stubbornness can help you change your lifestyle and still enjoy social gatherings.  An excerpt from Happy Healthy You: Breaking the Rules for a Well-Balanced Life
Have I ever told you about my love for the domestic lives of colonial Americans? Around this time of year, when the pilgrim salt and pepper shakers come out and take their place on the dining room table once again, my mind drifts to what life may have been like for the people who arrived on the cold and stormy shores of New England. The political energy around colonialism aside, I am intrigued by those people. I love to read the diaries of women during that time and learn about the mundane minutiae of how they lived: the contents of their kitchens, the neighborhood drama, and the work that was involved in maintaining a homestead in the middle of the wilderness. And, I think about how it must have felt to step onto the shore of an unknown land, with no real knowledge of what lay ahead. We know now that the first Thanksgiving meal likely did not happen in quite the idyllic fashion that we envisioned as children, but the stories are a source of curiosity to me because of the courage demonstrated by all people venturing into the unknown. I admire courage. In a somewhat related note (trust me, this all comes together at the end), I once heard a radio interview with Walter Isaacson, author of the book, Leonardo da Vinci, a biography of the man who is esteemed as one of the most prolific creative geniuses of all time. While I listened, I thought about the intelligence of a mind like DaVinci’s and wondered if I would ever experience thinking as nimble and creative as his. Then Isaacson made a point that gave me hope that I could: DaVinci wasn’t just brilliant, he was curious. Yes, he possessed the capacity to craft ideas from observations, but without the intense curiosity that made him constantly peel back layer after layer of everyday situations, his true brilliance could have remained just an admirable level of intelligence. I am not brilliant, but I am definitely curious. And while I admire intelligence, the courage to be curious is a trait I admire more. Courage and curiosity are two traits that come in very handy when in the pursuit of healthy living, especially during the holidays. Sometimes it is not until we are willing to challenge the status quo, or what we think are circumstances out of our control, that we experience a breakthrough in our thinking about ourselves. During the holidays more than any other time, I hear about the traditions that have to be carried out, the food that has to be eaten, the cookies that have to be baked, and I wonder...what if? What would happen if things didn’t happen that way, and if this was the year when things were different? I’m not saying it needs to be, necessarily. I’m just asking whether we are curious enough to explore what would happen if it was different this year, even just on paper. And maybe I am asking if we have the courage to poke at it a little more and try a little bit of something different, like DaVinci would. Let’s start with the first part: what would happen if your holiday habits were different this year? Get out a piece of paper and brainstorm what would happen if you didn’t make as much food or didn’t eat so-and-so’s cheese dip or didn’t open the next bottle of wine. What would happen if you didn’t let the morning workouts go on hiatus until January? What could be good about that? What could be annoying? You could even sort your brainstorm into lists of pros and cons of having a holiday season that was a little different. Allow yourself to be curious about those things. You don’t have to take action on any of it, sometimes it is just interesting to know. Then, maybe something that you wrote down seems significant, like something you might be curious enough to try. Something you might have the courage to try. Something you might even have the courage to try and be bad at. At least you tried. Leonardo DaVinci would have tried. Now you have something in common with Leonardo DaVinci; not many people can say that. Having the courage to be bad at something new embodies the spirit of what made DaVinci such a creative genius and what made it possible for pilgrims to step onto new ground. The courage to be curious enough to try something different is arguably the trait that leads to breakthroughs. The holidays lie ahead of us, and we know what that means: many opportunities to maintain the status quo and copy/paste the way things always are, or to challenge them through curiosity and courage. I hope that this week, you allow yourself the time to slow down, examine your holiday surroundings, and ask, “what it?”  Well, here we are again. When I turned on my radio last week and heard Christmas music playing, I knew that ready or not, it was the holidays.
So, I started asking my clients about how they want to spend the last six weeks of the year. Their answers were pretty standard: cooking, traveling, spending time with family, shopping, etc. It was clear they had not understood my question, so I needed to clarify what I meant. I didn’t want to know how they expected to spend the holidays. I was curious about how they wanted to spend the holidays. What are their ingredients for a happy holiday season? How will they know that the time was well-spent? What experience do they want to have, and what do they need to do to create it? It’s been said that the best way to predict the future is to create it, and that’s something you can do any time of year. We don’t get to choose every circumstance of our lives, but we have more control over circumstances than we may think. So today I ask you: how do you know if you are having a happy holiday? There are a few rules for this exercise. First, you must be specific about what brings you joy during this time of year. The more detail you can put into imagining the scents, flavors, and images of the holidays, the easier it will be to find them. Second, you must be somewhat realistic. If your dream is of a snowy winter wonderland but you live in Florida, you better have the budget and vacation time for travel. You can’t bring people back from the dead, and you have to exist in this dimension. But, other than the laws of physics and constraints of your resources, have at it. And third, it must be self-generated. That is, nothing in your perfect holiday scene can be dependent on someone else doing something. Waiting for other people to do things in order for you to be happy is just a recipe for heartache and resentment. OK, are you ready? Here we go. Let’s flip the calendar a couple of pages to Jan. 1. Imagine sitting on that day in your favorite place, with a wonderful feeling of contentment wrapped around you like a blanket. Life is just peachy. Gosh, that was a wonderful holiday. Now imagine someone comes to sit next to you and they ask, “how was your holiday?” And you say, “it was just wonderful,” and then begin to paint the scene. What, specifically, made it so wonderful? When I think about this question, my mind reminisces about hearing jingle bells on the doorknobs of the house, making treasured family recipes to share with others, decorating my home like we live in the Biltmore, and smelling cinnamon, orange, and clove simmering on the stove. I like to have clinked glasses with friends and family, witnessed the magic of the season through childrens’ eyes, and indulged enough to feel fancy while still fitting into my jeans in January. If those things have happened by Dec. 31, I feel good. Now, there are other things that make the holidays nice, too. Children being polite and gracious to their elders, no one getting sick, family members not discussing politics, no car trouble on the way to Grandma’s, good weather, my husband buying the correct gift for me, my kids eating the fancy food I have made, the music at church being exactly the kind I like, the lines at the stores not being too long, and seeing the correct reactions to all of the gifts that I have purchased for others, to name a few. But we’ve already discussed that. Now let’s zoom back in the calendar to the present day. You’ve just painted that picture of the events of the coming weeks that led to that feeling of contentment. Now it is time to make it happen. What do you need to do to ensure that the elements that made you feel so happy can actually take place? You’ve identified your priorities, so now schedule them. For me, staying active is key, because I like to indulge a little without gaining weight. That means I need to stick to my exercise routine and maybe even bump it up a little to account for extra nibbles. I may even take a day off during the week when I can bake, listen to carols, make my simmer pot, and decorate my house. When visiting my family, I enjoy sliding to the background to observe everyone as they interact together, watching the kids play with snow globes when they think the grown-ups aren’t watching. Then, when we get the flat tire, or my kids dash off without saying thank you, and no one eats the meal I have made, it’s OK, because that’s not what I needed for a happy holiday. What future will you create this year? You can craft it yourself, set the stage, and enjoy the show. Keep it specific, realistic, and intrinsic, and maybe even Santa will ask for your secret.  Reprinted from October 2, 2018
Have you ever said that you are, “ready, willing, and able,” to tackle the task at hand? The phrase rattles off the tongue quite effortlessly, conjuring images of a soldier in uniform stepping up to the front lines with a salute, ready for battle. I’ve said it often without a second thought, but as I often do, recently I stopped to think about it a little more and wonder if perhaps the words should be rearranged. In my work as a Certified Wellness Coach, being ready for change is a big topic of conversation. After asking about and listening to many people’s desires and strategies for change, I propose that we put the words in reverse order to discover what we are able, willing, and ready to do to create change in our lives. Able This first stage is pretty easy, because most of the things we want to do for healthy living are tasks we are able to do. With a few exceptions, we have the ability to buy fruits and vegetables instead of cookies and soda at the store, to drive to the gym for an exercise class or walk in the neighborhood, and to turn off the lights and go to bed at a certain time. Our arms and legs work in such a way that we are able to do those things, and we’re adults so generally we have some level of control over our time. There are some of us for whom these things are a challenge, but on the average, our functional ability is high; we are able to do most anything. Willing Now we’re getting into some rougher terrain. After all, what we are able to do and what we are willing to do can be quite different. Sure, you’re able to get in the car and drive to the exercise class, but are you willing to miss something else in order to do it? You have the ability to sip on coffee or tea while others have dessert, but are you willing to? It can take some time to sort out what we are really willing to do - and miss out on - in order to have a particular outcome. Be honest with yourself about what level of hassle you are willing to tolerate in your life if it means that you can make progress on a goal that is important to you. Ready This is where we get to the good stuff! Being able to do things is a gimme, and being willing to do things feels kind of like being talked into something. But being ready? That’s exciting! Being ready to take action is a great place to be because that’s exactly where you are: ready for something. The best way to figure out what you are ready to take action on is to think about feels like a step in the right direction, and also not like too much work. For example, you know you are able to buy fruits and veggies for snacks during the week, and you might agree that you are even willing to eat fruits and veggies as snacks a few times a week. The next step is determining what you feel ready to do, like maybe you feel ready to bring them to work with you so they are available when you need a snack. Now, I realize you may be reading this and thinking, “I’m ready to sit here in my chair and do nothing, how about that?” That’s fair, because this process is for people who want to change, not stay the same. The key to using the able/willing/ready process to get started towards change is to challenge yourself a bit and nudge yourself towards the next step. The results you experience will be relative to the amount of challenge and effort you put in. The more willing you are to take action, the more you will be rewarded. The beauty of working toward change is that it is a fluid process. Rarely do we get up, begin doing things differently, and never look back or get off track. So, if you find that the speed at which you are trying to change things is too fast, slow down. You can even go back to the old way of doing things. It’s your choice. My question for you this week is are you able? Yes. Are you willing? Perhaps. Are you ready? Well, ready or not, your life is here. Jump on in!  A conversation with a client was the most fun I’ve had at work in quite a while. She had set a goal of exercising three to four times a week, which had been a challenge because she had a busy job and was exhausted at the end of the day, when she had chosen to workout. But, she had lost 60 pounds with nutrition changes, and wanted to add in exercise so she could continue to lose weight and tone and strengthen her muscles.
I was a little nervous about her goal because I thought maybe she had bitten off more than she could chew. But, a couple of weeks later, she checked in with great success! I asked her what the trigger was that got her from the couch and up working out. Her answer was so simple and so awesome: I just love how I feel when I do. She went on to tell me that even when she had a long day at work and was really tired, she exercised because she knew she would feel better right away. I wanted to clarify this point and make sure I understood exactly what she was saying, so I asked her to confirm what I heard: the results from exercising were immediate, positive, and attainable. Yes, she said. They were. I was floored. This was fantastic news! Just a few weeks prior, she had been frustrated that her progress had stalled, and she was at a crossroads for what to do. She was confused, because she was still working hard but her body wasn’t changing as much as it was before. She sighed and confessed, “I know, I want instant results. I need to give it time.” But now she was positively giddy, telling me that exercising made her feel so good right away that she was looking forward to her workouts after a long day at work. It was not possible for her to have a bigger smile on her face. A lot of life can feel uncertain and disorganized at times. But, we have more control over how we feel than we think. We have access to tools that can help us feel better right away. Chief among those is the immediate benefit of feeling great through exercise, which my client was enjoying every single day. When the world’s problems seem like more than we can handle, sometimes the best thing we can do is feel better, because feeling better is not overrated. In fact, feeling better makes it easier for us to be part of the solution! Worried about diabetes? Exercise reduces insulin levels in your blood and improves your insulin sensitivity. That means you and your brain are better able to partner up to notice when you are full and don’t need to keep eating. Feeling stuck on a project at work? Exercise helps with neurogenesis, which is the creation of new brain cells. A walk and some fresh air can lead to more clarity of thought, productivity, and energy to work. Exercise is proven to boost our mood to the point where we can alleviate symptoms of clinical depression. Just thirty minutes a few times a week can make a difference. But don’t just stroll around. Work up a good sweat and get your heart and lungs pumping! Get your money’s worth! Feeling a little low on self-confidence? Battling anxiety? Go and do a strength-training workout or join an exercise class. Exercise can boost self-esteem and improve body image, making you feel like a million bucks. And when you feel good, you look good. More instant benefits! Could this get any better? You betcha. Not only does exercise immediately make you feel amazing, raise your intellect, and make it easier to eat healthy, it burns calories, which leads to weight loss. Yes! You can even lose weight, on top of feeling great whenever you want to. Oh, and exercise also lowers your blood pressure, enhances sleep quality, reduces cholesterol…should I go on? My client and I were laughing and cheering over the phone as we marveled in her discovery. Happiness, relaxation, lower stress…it was all attainable within minutes and completely in her control. In fact, the two things that were guaranteed to bring her a lifetime of happiness were two things she had complete control over: what she ate and whether or not she exercised. Instant gratification was sitting right next to her this whole time. It’s sitting next to you, too. You can join her and feel amazing today. Right now! I hope you will, and that your smile will not be able to get bigger. You deserve to feel great. What are you waiting for?  Does it seem like the holiday season begins earlier and earlier each year? I'm one of those people who can't wait for an excuse to put out some pumpkins and welcome fall, even if it is still 85 degrees outside. I am ready!
But more often than not, the season that I look forward to all year long seems to be done in a flash, and I feel like I've been so busy making it happen that I missed the whole thing. I hear the same sentiments from my clients, along with things like, "I just want to survive the holidays." Them's fightin' words for me - life is too short to settle for surviving. No ma'am. We are here to experience life, not just get through it. I could cite dozens of studies that have reported the rising numbers of Americans who are hanging on by a thread, trying to keep the plates of life spinning in a world that seems to get more and more demanding. People who feel like they don't have a choice, because they need to pay the bills. People who feel stuck, hopeless, and resigned to just, well, surviving. Life is too short for me to stand by and let other people settle, either. I can't actually solve everything, but I can help people organize their lives, so I started asking my clients about how they want to experience the last six weeks of the year. Their answers were pretty standard: cooking, traveling, spending time with family, shopping, etc. It was clear they had not understood my question, so I needed to clarify what I meant. I didn’t want to know how they expected to spend the holidays. I was curious about how they wanted to experience the holidays. After the cooking, shopping, and family visits are done, what makes a happy holiday season for them? How will they know that the time was well-spent? What experience do they want to have, and what do they need to do to create it? It’s been said that the best way to predict the future is to create it, and that’s something you can do any time of year. We don’t get to choose every circumstance of our lives, but we have more control over circumstances than we may think. So today I ask you: how do you know if you are having a happy holiday? There are a few rules for this exercise. First, you must be specific about what brings you joy during this time of year. The more detail you can put into imagining the scents, flavors, and images of the holidays, the easier it will be to find them. Second, you must be somewhat realistic. For example, if your dream is of a snowy winter wonderland, you better have the budget and vacation time for travel to a place that manufactures snow on command. You can’t bring people back from the dead, and you have to exist in this dimension. But, other than the laws of physics and constraints of your resources, have at it. And third, it must be self-generated. That is, nothing in your perfect holiday scene can be dependent on someone else doing something. Waiting for other people to do things in order for you to be happy is just a recipe for heartache and resentment. Okay, are you ready? Here we go. Let’s flip the calendar a couple of pages to January 1. Imagine sitting on that day in your favorite place, with a wonderful feeling of contentment wrapped around you like a blanket. Life is just peachy. Gosh, that was a wonderful holiday. Now imagine someone comes to sit next to you and they ask, “how was your holiday?” And you say, “it was just wonderful,” and then begin to paint the scene. What, specifically, made it so wonderful? When I think about this question, my mind reminisces about hearing jingle bells on the doorknobs of the house, making treasured family recipes to share with others, decorating my home like we live in the Biltmore, and smelling cinnamon, orange, and clove simmering on the stove. I like to have clinked glasses with friends and family, witnessed the magic of the season through the eyes of children, and indulged enough to feel fancy while still fitting into my jeans in January. If those things have happened by December 31, I feel good. Now, there are other things that make the holidays nice, too. Children being polite and gracious to their elders, no one getting sick, family members not discussing politics, no car trouble on the way to Grandma’s, good weather, my husband buying the correct gift for me, my kids eating the fancy food I have made, the music at church being exactly the kind I like, the lines at the stores not being too long, and seeing the correct reactions to all of the gifts that I have purchased for others, to name a few. But we’ve already discussed that. Now let’s zoom back in the calendar to the present day. You’ve just painted that picture of the events of the coming weeks that led to that feeling of contentment. Now it is time to make it happen! What do you need to do to ensure that the elements that made you feel so happy can actually take place? You’ve identified your priorities, so now schedule them! For me, staying active is key, because my morning workouts are like my own personal reset button. That means I need to stick to my exercise routine and maybe even bump it up a little to account for extra nibbles. I may even take a day off during the week when I can bake, listen to carols, make my simmer pot, and decorate my house. When visiting my family, I enjoy sliding to the background to observe everyone as they interact together, watching the kids play with snow globes when they think the grown-ups aren’t watching. Then, when we get the flat tire, or my kids dash off without saying thank you, and no one eats the meal I have made, it’s okay, because that’s not what I needed for a happy holiday. So, how do you want to experience the last three months of the year? I created a Happy Healthy Holidays Guide to help you work it out - and keep track of your progress. Download it here. And remember: keep it specific, realistic, and intrinsic, and maybe even Santa will ask for your secret.  An excerpt from Happy, Healthy You: Breaking the Rules for a Well-Balanced Life In 2018, I watched a good portion of Hurricane Michael blow through Tallahassee from my front porch. As a lifelong Southerner, I’ve seen a few tropical storms and hurricanes, and find myself stuck between being in awe of the power of nature and wanting to give it a wide enough berth to show my respect. This storm was no different, and as I sipped my coffee and wondered how long the power would last, I sat under the cover of my porch and watched the trees. I have a lot of pine trees around my house. I have some of the big fat ones and some of the spindly little ones, and I had placed my bets on which would survive and which would not. As the bands of wind and rain came through, the trees began to sway. And then they began to bend. That’s when I went inside and moved to the window. I watched the trees bend and thought about their root system. I wondered how far the roots went down and how far over a pine tree could bend. I wondered whether it was better to be a big fat tree or a little skinny tree. And, I noticed some things. A while ago I saw a quote with a picture of a tree that said, “if you do not like life’s circumstances, move. You are not a tree.” It made me feel kind of bad for trees, because they can’t move from their circumstances. They have to stand there and take it, whether it is a drought or a category four hurricane. We are like that sometimes too. Sometimes circumstances are bad and it’s easy for someone to say, “well, if you don’t like it, then leave.” But sometimes we are so rooted where we are, either by family or obligations or other life things that happen, and picking up and leaving isn’t really an option. We are like a tree, and we have to stand there and take it. I know a lot of people who feel that way about their health. They need to make changes, and sure, it’s easy for someone outside to say, “well just eat better. Just get up earlier and exercise. Just quick buying cigarettes. Just do it.” But they are rooted in lives that can’t be undone that easily, and it seems like they have to withstand the winds of life. But as I watched the trees in the storm, I noticed that they were doing more than just standing there. They were swaying, bending, and releasing. Even when we are rooted where we are, we can do the same thing. Sway when you can The storms of life can definitely push us around, but we don’t have to just stand there. Like a tree, we all sway from side to side throughout our lives to allow for this event or that unexpected change of plans. I believe that these times actually make us stronger, more cognitively nimble, and more creative. Sway when you can so that the things you do to take care of yourself can keep happening even in a storm. Swaying might mean compromising on when exercise happens so that it can, rather than letting it stop altogether. Bend when you need to As I watched the trees bend I thought about how they were pretty stubborn and must really be committed to being where they were to withstand so much pressure and not fall over. It reminded me of those times when life gets so hectic that if we want to stay healthy in spite of it, we need to make even bigger compromises. Sometimes we let exercise go and focus on eating healthy. Sometimes food choices are not in our control so we make sure to stay active and counteract it by staying active. Bending in this way means that we might not be getting everything we need, but at least we’re getting some of it, and sometimes that’s enough. Let some branches fall Those trees were swaying and they were bending, but they were also releasing some of themselves in order to stay upright. This is a loss, for sure, but one that is regained over time. Don’t be afraid to let some branches fall off your tree if it means you stay rooted in what supports your physical and emotional health. It’s likely that those things will come back in time, and the loss will be a temporary one. The clean-up from the storm continues, and as we reach out to the west and help our neighbors recover, I believe that our roots will go deeper and we will be stronger. If another of life’s storms is headed your way, be like a tree. Sway, bend, release, and hang on to your roots.  It is not unusual for me to interact with at least a few people each week who tell me that, even though their doctor is glad to see an improvement in their A1C, blood pressure, cholesterol, and other health factors, they want to see weight loss on the scale.
It is incredibly frustrating as a health coach to see someone come into a conversation feeling proud and in charge of their health, only to see them crumble under perceived failure because the mass of their body doesn't meet the standards of a chart. Thankfully, more physicians are starting to think laterally when it comes to overall health. Could it be that weight loss and health improvements are not necessarily linked? It absolutely could, and in my experience working with hundreds of people over the past 15 years, I believe it is. As early as 2014, the Journal of Obesity titled “The Weight-Inclusive versus Weight-Normative Approach to Health” reported that weight loss initiatives do not lead to long term results for most people. Results from a 2013 RAND study sponsored by the U.S. Departments of Labor and Health and Human Services show that the average weight lost in most year-long programs is just one pound, with a regain rate of 75% after four years. Recent studies investigating the effect of weight loss in people with Type 2 Diabetes found no improvement in cardiovascular morbidity and mortality or all-cause mortality compared to control groups where weight loss was not part of the treatment focus. I know that this is counter-intuitive in a culture that prizes thinness and believes that losing weight improves health. For years I have encouraged my clients to lose weight so they could avoid Diabetes, heart disease, and other issues. But more and more, I've seen folks make dramatic improvements in their health while their weight remained unchanged. I've seen overweight people show up with great blood pressure and cholesterol numbers. I've run with endurance athletes who defy the image of a long and lean long distance runner. I'm not a physician, but I think it is safe to say that the human body is more complicated than we give it credit for. And honestly, from my perspective, it doesn't really matter because wellbeing is a self-made construct, not a category assigned by a chart. Your weight is your business and it should not stand in the way of living a healthy and balanced life. This is a weight-neutral approach, which means working outside the confines of weight loss or the pursuit of thinness as the path to health. A weight neutral approach focuses on behaviors and habits that promote health over body size. My clients who choose to lose weight often do experience improvements in their health, because both outcomes often have similar paths. The path to a healthier heart - a diet full of vegetables, fiber, and whole foods along with regular exercise - will usually lead to weight loss if the portions are in line with your body's needs. The path to a lower A1C - not surprisingly, a diet full of vegetables, fiber, and whole foods along with regular exercise - can also result in weight loss. But, it is absolutely possible to have improvements in those health categories without changing your weight. My clients who lose weight often report more energy, less joint pain, better sleep, better digestion, and all the great things that you expect. It stands to reason that they would, because when your body isn't carrying extra weight, it's better able to function optimally. Again, your weight is your business. It is my hope that as we see more adoption of a weight-neutral approach to health care, we will reduce the stigma and shame associated with obesity that keeps people from taking part in exercise and other active pursuits, and end the discouraging practice of invalidating health gains that don't show up on the scale. A healthy life includes everything that helps you thrive: connected and supportive relationships, a safe and healthy environment, fresh and whole foods, plenty of water, good sleep, fun activity and exercise, and an outlet for stress management. You deserve and can achieve these things at any weight. So should we abandon healthy habits and indulge our kid-menu cravings since our weight doesn't matter anymore? Slow down - no. Your weight might not have as much of an impact on your health, but your choices do. Sorry, the good old-fashioned approach is still the best. Just don't sweat it if you're overweight and think that you need to change it in order to be healthy on paper. If your weight feels like a hurdle to overcome before you can begin living a life you enjoy and which makes you proud, please contact me or another National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach who can help you design a plan to the life you want, and if you want to lose weight too, to make it all work together. Cheers to a Happy, Healthy You, Heather PS - Am I Hungry Mindful Eating is a weight-neutral approach to a healthy relationship with food. I'd love to have you in class - click here to learn more and sign up. |
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